Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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