i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
soo... how was my night?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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