the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
