His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
