He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
