FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
