I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
