i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
