She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
