I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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