True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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