I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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