If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
