When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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