i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
