Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
