is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he thought i was a dude.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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