Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
