I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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