doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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