I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
