But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
