Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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