I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
