I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
