? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
