the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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