Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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