it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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