I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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