At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
