he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
