i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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