Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
