Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
