Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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