Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
