What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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