3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
