That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
