He asked to "fluff my boner.."
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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