She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
How's work?
Spinning.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
