NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
