Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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