I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
