I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
there is glitter all over my balls
There are leaves in my underwear?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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