i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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