apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
