i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
