the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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