I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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