I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
