I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
