You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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