rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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